Shine Bright Like A Diamond

I am not trying to sing Rihanna’s song, I am only trying to move from this rut which seems to be consuming me. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, I am very grateful for the opportunity, but it’s been too long, I feel like it’s time for me to “Shine bright like a diamond”. I have tried to shine here but there seems to be a moment, or an event or just something which takes away the shine and makes me feel like the effort has gone unnoticed.

The’here’ that I need to move away from is my current job. I have worked here for four years now, doing the same things, just rotating around the same department. Basically I have done everything that has to be done in this department, at first it was utilization and employee relations, then it was remuneration and benefits, then back to utilization with a bit of training and development, and then back to remuneration and benefits AGAIN.

No promotion. I am not looking for an ‘easy come’ opportunity where I just wake up one day and have myself appointed to a higher position. I know I work hard in my department, I am one of the most reliable employees and I know my job very well. I am conversant with the rules and regulations which govern us, that is very important when you work in the human resource department. It sounded like a covering letter for a job application right there, but I wanted to make things clear. I am not asking for a favor, I am asking or rather seeking an opportunity to shine like a diamond.

At my age, I do not believe it’s wise to stay in one position for five years, no!!! Time is moving fast, I need to grow some more, I need more challenging opportunities. Basically, I’m getting bored in this position. This scares me, I am very committed to my job but when there’s no fun anymore, I worry that I’m going down slowly. I don’t want to lose my shine because I want to still possess it when I get a more challenging opportunity. That way I will be able to give the same kind of energy to that opportunity.

Three years into this job, I wanted to leave it. I started applying for jobs in other organizations. At some point I stopped applying because I believed I was not at a point where I could leave the security of a government job yet. I continued working here and I do not regret it because at that time, I continued gathering all the necessary experience and then got an opportunity to further my studies in my field in India. But while in India, I realized that I could never get where I wanted to go by staying in the government and waiting for a ‘better qualification’. I had thought a ‘better qualification’ would ensure that I stay in the private sector, if I were given the opportunity to go.

Joining the private sector now while I still have the energy, passion and hopefully wisdom, to take an organization far is wiser than trying to do that later. If I continue studying while already in the private sector, I will be much more beneficial to the organization which will have employed me. Also, attending seminars will prove helpful in developing myself in my career.

I am back to applying for another job. I’m on a constant look out for the opportunities, always preparing for an interview I have not been called to yet, sometimes willing my phone to ring… I need to “Shine Bright Like a Diamond” and I need that to happen NOW!! Now while I still have the energy and passion to do it. I want this energy to be utilized elsewhere, where my efforts will be realized and probably make a difference. I am making a difference here, I suppose, but here it is to a lesser extent than it would be in the private sector, in one big organization, maybe a banking institution or a project meant to alleviate poverty and cut down the number of HIV infections, maybe an organization which deals with child and maternal health. I want to shine, and I need my spark to affect some one or some people positively. I can no longer shine here where my spark is too small to be felt because of how big the government is and how much red tape is involved.

DO you want to shine? Shine Bright Like A Diamond in your career!!!

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An Ordinary Day in the Life of A Diamond

This is how my days look like:

05:00 – Alarm goes off, I switch it off

05:10 – Get out of bed after trying to create an illness so that I can be late for work : – ((

This is the time when I get my daughter up and prepare her bath. Right after that I run through the making of the bed, how I wish there was a machine for that.

05:30 – I go to the kitchen to prepare lunch packs for hubby, daughter and I. Then breakfast, we do not eat together, my daughter eats hers before leaving, as for hubby and I, we take ours to work.

06:00 – Bath time

06:45 – Hugs and kisses, I can never leave without them, my daughter would die. Today was rainy, when I left the house she was still in her bedroom, dressing up to go to school, I don’t know what takes her so long, she’s only in Grade 4!! After turning the key on the ignition, I heard a tap on the window, daughter, she wanted her hug and kiss…

06:50 – I drive to work at this time. If I left five minutes later I would be stuck in traffic for the whole hour, even longer.

07:30 – Arrive at the office

07:35 – Call hubby, I arrived safely

07:40 – Have breakfast, My work day starts at eight

08:00 – And the work begins

12:45 – Lunch time

14:00 – Back to work

16:00 – Knock off time, I head to the gym

16:30 – Start working out

18:00 – Time to go home

18:30 – Arrive at home and start preparing supper

20:30 – Put daughter to bed and clean up after supper

21:00 – Prepare clothes for the following day

21:30 – 22:00 – Go to bed… And then start the night shift – Conjugal duties!

It goes on and on like this from Monday to Thursday, Fridays are busier because after work I do the laundry at the same time as preparing supper.

Saturdays are the only days when I am able to turn the house upside down cleaning it. Meals are usually light, except breakfast, and prepared by hubby and daughter.

Sundays start early with me preparing breakfast and lunch at the same time. Then go to church. By the time we get back from church, it’s lunch time. A few hours of rest after lunch, and then it’s time to prepare for the week ahead.

When do I really get time to rest? A bit of me-time?

Tell me about your day…

 

 

Beware! The Office Gossip

Employees should probably be made aware of the office gossip with a danger sign. The office gossip wrecks havoc in the work place, people are not able to work together harmoniously, they despise each other, they do not trust each other and their days at work become a drag.

The issue of the office gossip has always been looked at as a minor issue, but believe me it’s big. The office gossip does so much damage that supervisors are not able to instruct subordinates, on the other hand, subordinates are not able to consult with supervisors in order to carry out their duties effectively. Unhappy people cannot be productive people. Someone who is at the receiving end of bad gossip cannot be a happy person, and thus a productive person. That’s all due to the office gossip.

It has been said that, refraining from friendships at the work place can protect one from the results of bad gossip at the work place, however, I have realized that refraining from such friendships rather causes one to be the victim as they are not able to defend themselves.

I am a woman, and proud to be one, that is why it makes me so sad to realize that more often than not, office gossip is spread by women. The people who will believe it and discriminate people according to the rumors they heard about them, are women…

It is so unfortunate that in my department here at work, all employees, except one, are women!! And we have the office gossip. Worst of all, women are very quick to react to rumors about themselves, women are emotional, immediately they hear something bad has been said about them, no matter how ridiculous it is, they take it to heart and start reacting accordingly. The reaction is often extreme and causes workplaces elations to be disrupted and lowers productivity.

BEWARE of the office gossip, even though you may never be able to immunize yourself against what may be said about, but the impact may be minimal. Always watch what you say to people at work, especially when you’re new and have not established who to trust and who not to trust.

Refrain form unnecessary friendship at work as they may go sour and therefore affect your job. When people are “friends”, they say a lot of things, bad things I might say, about their colleagues, supervisors and subordinates. When such a friendship dissolves, secrets and things which had been said earlier in the friendship might be opened up for all to hear, people’s credibility and reputations may be tainted, looking back at the value of the friendship may bring to light, the fact that the friendship was never worthy of one’s time.

For Lulu Faith

I used to think the days lived were equal to the amount of hurt

Equal to the amount of love

I used to think the number of years lived

The physique

How tall

How big

The moments spend together

All those

I used to think would represent the amount of love

The amount of pain felt at the loss

 

But no

She lived for three days

She was so tiny

She never came out of her incubator

She never got out of that hospital

But the love I feel for her

Even today after three whole years

The love is still so strong

So huge

So big

So enormous

I have never felt like this about any body

I have never felt like this about any body who has lived for years

I have never felt like this about any body who is big

 

After a year

I thought I was being dramatic

After two years

I thought I had healed

I thought no one would understand

I told myself it would be a pain I would not share with any one

Because I thought no one would understand

After three years

I woke with the same empty feeling

But I don’t care

I don’t want any one to understand

She was mine

She is still mine

I’m the closest person to her

I want to keep her memory alive

 

The very painful memory of her

When she was crying

Probably because it was painful

The last time I saw her alive

I was not there for her

I could not be there for her

But she was mine

She is mine

The memory of her will stay with me forever

I loved her

I carried her for seven months

I love her now

And I will always love her

My Lulu Faith

Cruising through the Mountain Kingdom

A river meanders in a circular movement

A river meanders in a circular movement

 

Ever since leaving the country for a while, I have come back with a new appreciation for the scenery in the Mountain Kingdom. The country is just so beautiful that you could take pictures every where. There are beautiful plateau and mountain ranges even in the lowlands… This is a country whose lowest point above sea level is higher than most countries.

Endless branches of rivers decorate the mountains, running down their slopes and forming beautiful, even though sometimes destructive, gorges between the mountain peaks.

 

 

Captured from Ha Kome in Berea district

Captured from Ha Kome in Berea district

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cultivated slopes

Cultivated slopes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Villages are few and far between

Villages are few and far between

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Musings from a Dirty Office Window

I only really looked at this window today.

I’ve only just realised how dirty it is.

What’s wrong with office cleaners nowadays???

Well, these are my days, so we have to deal with office cleaners who do not care whether the windows are clean or not.

The big tree outside has been here since the inception of this government ministry

Location, location, location

The tree’s location is completely wrong

It wasn’t supposed to be here

Just in the middle of an arch

They can’t cut it now

Try what they may

Cutting with electric saws

Burning from inside

This tree doesn’t die

It has become the haven of bees

So much honey has been produced from this tree

With the coming of spring

Has come the new green leaves

Still alive

This tree is

In summer it shields me from the harsh summer sun

In winter it shields me from that very same sun

So much needed then, but cannot be accessed

This immortal tree

Anytime it can fall on this office building

A freak accident

Scary

I wonder what tomorrow brings

The opening of parliament

The dissolving of parliament

Out with the old and in with the new???

I wonder behind these dirty office windows

If I should shut down my work station and go home

Never come back here

Or

If I should stay, work over night and avoid what’s awaiting me at home

Confusing???

Exactly!!!

These are my musings

From the Dirty Office Window

I could be anywhere

The building where you’re just passing now

The one you passed yesterday

The office next to yours…

I want to see the sun now

But this tree is shielding me

I’m uncertain of what tomorrow brings

But tomorrow is sure to come

What does tomorrow bring for me, for my family, for Lesotho?????

Divorce Can Be Best… For Kids

DSC08909Some people wish they had grown up with both parents, other were unfortunate because the incidence of death took away one parent from them even before they could get to know him or her. Some were forced to grow up with one parent and visit the other because of the event of divorce. These people really wish they had grown up with both parents, I believe their parents did the best thing for them by getting a divorce.

I know they will disagree with me but divorce can be best “for the kids”.

Imagine having to grow up in a family where parents do not get along, they do not agree on anything. The only thing they have in common is their love for you. Every day of your life while living with your parents is characterized by the fighting, shouting and cursing of your parents.

Parents can very selfish while fighting. The love they have for you maybe go out the window very quickly while they’re trying to win this ongoing fight among themselves.

Most of the time, the kids are left in the middle of the fight. The kids are often forced to be parents and parent their “so called parents”. Kids find themselves in a situation where they have to choose which parent to support, this case may lead to the children themselves fighting because one will side with one parent while another side with the other parent.

In a case where the children are foolhardy and do not want to join and try very hard not to be affected by their parents’ foolishness and selfishness, the parents themselves may force them to choose. Parents can be very cruel. The issue of children choosing sides can be aggravated by which parent holds the purse strings, children need to be provided for therefore, they will often choose the parent who can provide. Some children choose a parent who can provide emotional support or nourishment.

When parents decide to stay in unhappy marriages, they often call it “doing it for the kids”, I call it selfishness and murder. The parents expose their children to lifelong emotional abuse which can never be cured because the children were born with it. Those children can hardly be good parents themselves, while trying very hard not to be their parents, they can make a lot of mistakes which can lead them to lacking confidence in themselves. Some children may take on the behaviour of their parents and you may find history repeating itself in their own marriages because that’s what they ;earned after all. Some children, while running away from the bad situation they grew up in, may marry wrongly. Their choices coming back to bite them later and then staying on in such bad conditions because they have learned that’s what people do: stay in bad marriages.

PARENTS CAN BE SELFISH. Staying in a bad marriage for the kids does more than temporary harm in their lives, it scars them, permanently. DIVORCE CAN BE BEST FOR THE KIDS!!!