I used to think the days lived were equal to the amount of hurt
Equal to the amount of love
I used to think the number of years lived
The physique
How tall
How big
The moments spend together
All those
I used to think would represent the amount of love
The amount of pain felt at the loss
But no
She lived for three days
She was so tiny
She never came out of her incubator
She never got out of that hospital
But the love I feel for her
Even today after three whole years
The love is still so strong
So huge
So big
So enormous
I have never felt like this about any body
I have never felt like this about any body who has lived for years
I have never felt like this about any body who is big
After a year
I thought I was being dramatic
After two years
I thought I had healed
I thought no one would understand
I told myself it would be a pain I would not share with any one
Because I thought no one would understand
After three years
I woke with the same empty feeling
But I don’t care
I don’t want any one to understand
She was mine
She is still mine
I’m the closest person to her
I want to keep her memory alive
The very painful memory of her
When she was crying
Probably because it was painful
The last time I saw her alive
I was not there for her
I could not be there for her
But she was mine
She is mine
The memory of her will stay with me forever
I loved her
I carried her for seven months
I love her now
And I will always love her
My Lulu Faith
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